Exhibit 1. Discussion Board Excerpt |
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The following excerpt is from a recent online discussion in a course on the sociology of the family. The students are all members of the United States military, and they are stationed across the US and the world. The topic—the legalization of gay and lesbian marriages—is controversial in any setting but perhaps even more so among military personnel. Although the subject tends to elicit one-sided responses within military sections, this discussion was characterized by significant differences of opinion, well-documented and considered responses, and respect for the views of others. The online format permitted students to freely express their thoughts; the threaded discussion format allowed them to post their responses 24/7, which was particularly important given that these students live in different time zones and have military responsibilities that do not always allow for immediate and regular access to the Internet. (Because this document is an exact transcript, typos, misspelled words, and incorrect grammar have not been amended.) QUESTION: Should gay and lesbian couples have the right to marry each other in the United States today? RESPONSE #1: Melissa, I would submit that instead of learning to be gay or lesbian from their parents—what children are more likely to learn not to divide their relationships along gender roles and to use instead a best friend model instead of a traditional model in their own relationships and to share tasks and chores or divide them more pragmatically according to preferences or work schedules (Peplay and Gordon, 1982) and (Marecek, finn, and Cardell, 1988). We must remember that a persons sexual orientation is complex and includes a combination of social, biological and personal factors. Don't forget, most gays and lesbians were raised in heterosexual homes—if they learned their sexual script from their parents—why aren't they heterosexual? My own stepdaughter, in spite of spending significant time in a home with two lesbians from the time she was three and a half until she was nine—is adamantly heterosexual. RESPONSE #2: I would agree that kids are very impressionable and more likely than not they would probably pick-up on the gay or lesbian tendencies of their parents. As we've learned in our text children learn gender role behavior through reinforcement and modeling. Remember during infancy and early childhood, a child's most important source of learning is the primary caretaker (heterosexual same sex parents alike). A parents words and actions contribute to their children's gender-role socialization (Culp et al., 1983) RESPONSE #3: You can't make someone "that way" as you put it. If we're in "danger" of creating a whole world of homosexuals, why is it that most homosexual people have straight parents? Homosexuality has been around since the beginning of time. So if your theory was correct, wouldn't we all be gay by now? The average gay man won't identify himself as being gay until the age of 19-21 because he's probably living at home or dependent on his parents until that age. He probably doesn't want to tell anyone because of his fear of being ostracized by his peers, but more importantly his family. I'm sure it's not because he went to college and made a whole bunch of gay friends and it rubbed off on him. RESPONSE #4: After reading Nancy's, Raymond's, Donovan's and Karen's discussions, I can see that we think almost alike. However we must recognized the existence of prejudice about gay men and lesbian interactions in our society. Current laws in every state does not allow for gay lesbian couples to marry. Our society does not accept their sexual behavior and that it is why we have the anti-gay prejudice and we discriminate against them. In the U.S. military our current "don't ask don't tell" policy proves it. If a soldier comes out and publicly acknowledges being gay or lesbian, we condemn and quickly separate them from the service. A The New York Times survey, from our text found that 55 percent of the respondents believed behavior between adult gay men and lesbians was morally wrong. At the same time, 78 percent believed gay men and lesbians should have equal job opportunities; 43 percent supported gay men and lesbians in the military, however an equal percentage opposed it. America still suffers from a severe case of homophobia. RESPONSE #5: I agree with you Darren. With the divorce rate lurking around 50% and such significant number of children reared in single parent and dysfunctional families, how can a legitimate argument be made against a loving, nurturing same sex couple. You are right, Rosie O'Donnel is a good example. Same sex couples are capable of insuring children of either sex are socialized to their traditional gender role in society. They are at least as capable as a single father rearing a daughter or single mother rearing a son. RESPONSE #6: "Don't ask, Don't tell," while still discriminatory, is a far cry from what we had before. I am on Ft Lewis and have been for a while. I was here when the Marguerite Cammermeyer story broke, and when she came back in the military following the implementation of "don't ask, don't tell" I heard the way people talked about her when they saw her in the commissary. She is probably one of the primary people responsible for the change, since she had already proven that she could serve honorably. I also remember the case a couple of years before where, also here on Ft Lewis, there was a CID investigation that ended up on the cover of the Army times, involving about 7 or 8 lesbian officers and NCOs who were all separated from service following an investigation opened by a CID agent who was married and had been trying (unsuccessfully) to date one of the women—who was also a CID agent. His adultery was totally ignored when it was brought up by the female, lesbian agent over the course of the investigation. RESPONSE #7: I jumped into this one at the last minute. As always, I found the responses very interesting and thought provoking. I noticed that religious beliefs had much influence on opinions of whether gays/lesbians should have the right to marry. Since I see the major goal with gay/lesbian marriages to be the "material benefits" associated with a traditional marriage (taxes, insurance, benefits, etc.), I don't see it as a moral/ethical issue. And since the question was not "are gay/lesbian relationships morally wrong," I won't entertain my personal beliefs. I believe this leads to egocentric fallacies. I read nothing in the text that convinced me that gay/lesbian relationships should not be recognized as a legal union; united sexually; cooperating economically; and possibly giving birth to, adopting, or rearing children. |